I think the opening paragraph needs a bit more punch. That’s what will attract the journalist that see it, and remember journalists get hundreds of such press releases every day so yours needs to stand out. Perhaps you can link the move to the current economic crisis, and the fact the coffee shop is increasing business in tough times? A local angle to a global story is always good,

You should also include an ‘About Us’ paragraph at the end of the release. This should give basic information about the business, when it opened, awards won, number of staff employed, etc. Ideally this should be no more than 100 words and should include website references if available.

Finally, you might want to check out this neat website. It’s at http://www.pressreleasegrader.com. It will evaluate your press release for free and give tips about how it can be improved.

Good luck.